Have you ever been in love with someone who seems too reluctant to reveal information about himself?  A check of marriage records may tell you something you don’t necessarily want to know, but probably should.

Is It Just Male/Female Differences?

When I say too reluctant, I do mean that.  Men tend towards a much greater degree of reticence when it comes to discussing relationships than women.  One likely theory behind this is that they know how jealous and insecure they get, even when the former partner we’re discussing was actually evil.

Do You Need to Learn How to Trust?

As a result of this feeling on their part, they tend not to understand that we, despite feeling equally jealous and insecure – “I know she set your car on fire, but was she prettier than I am?” – have an ingrained need to know these things.  Understanding a person’s past helps women to understand them.  Men like to live in the present.

Or Are You a Doormat?

However, while it is perfectly natural for a guy to not want to go into every little detail of his life, if you are in a close relationship and you’ve tried to explain to him why you need to know something, and he still refuses to talk, then you might need to do some checking yourself.  There’s trust and then there’s being a doormat.

It is possible the new guy in your life simply doesn’t want to talk about his past.  Or it may be that his past is still very much with him.  You must check marriage records to at least tell you if he’s still married, or if his last wife is “missing.”

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