Archive for November, 2009

30 Nov
2009
Find Your Birth Parent Search FAQ

With so many people across the United States engaged in a birth parent search, it is no wonder that people have questions on where to start looking, even if it is possible to find their birth parents. In the last few decades, the Internet has made searching adoption records much easier.

Therefore, whether you are the birth parents or you are searching for your birth parents, you will want to start here with these frequently asked questions.

FAQ #1: Where do I start to search for my birth parents?

Start by getting an adoptive journal. Before you ask any questions, you will need a place to write everything down. You will soon be given lots of facts, names, dates, places, and agencies. You will need a place to write all this down. This journal will need to be readily available, so don’t make it too big and bulky.

You can keep a master file on your computer, but you will also want something portable. Therefore, don’t think you can “remember” everything and type it up later when you get home.

FAQ #2: Who has the adoption records?

The adoptive parents will have a copy of the records. You should always start with your adoptive parents when looking for records, as they will always have the most accurate information. It may be hard to ask them, but they will have the name of the agency and all the court papers from the adoption process. They could possibly hold the names of the birth parents right there putting an end to the search before it even begins.

Don’t forget to write down all the information you find down.

FAQ #3: What can the adoption agency tell me?

The adoption agency can tell you more than you think. Most people think since adoption records are sealed, they won’t be able to get anything from the adoption agency. Nothing can be further from the truth. In fact, you can learn a lot from what is called non-indentifying information. It can include:

•    Possible reasons you were given up for adoption

•    Age of birth parents at time of birth

•    Age and sex of biological siblings at time of birth

•    The ethnicity of your birth parents

•    Medical history of birth parents

•    Religion of birth parents

•    Geographic location of your birth parents at time of birth

FAQ #4: Once I find the birth parent name, what do I do?

Once you locate one or more of your birth parents’ names, it is up to you to proceed. You can do a people search to locate telephone numbers and addresses. At that point, you can decide to call or write. It is hard to say which one is best, as every situation is different. Only you can decide which is right for you.

A birth parent search may not be easy but not finding them is even harder. You can start your search today by looking through adoption records.

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29 Nov
2009
Are You Thinking about Walking Down The Aisle? Check His Marriage Certificate History First!

So, you’ve met that special someone. You might be thinking, do I have a right to check his marriage certificate from a previous marriage?

And, to be honest, the answer is yes! You have a right to know about someone’s marriage history before you commit the rest of your life to him or her.

You don’t want to go into a marriage without knowing all the nitty-gritty details of his past. If you do, you’re likely to be surprised by information or behaviors that haven’t had the opportunity to present themselves yet.

Ghosts of Marriage Past

Sure, we all have a right to make mistakes, seek therapy, and change our life for the better. But, we also have a need to be upfront and honest with the ones we love.

If your lover or fiancé is hiding something from the past, then that might be something you need to know immediately before you get so many emotions tangled up into the equation.

And, beyond the emotional turmoil that you’ll face with a questionable partner, think of the fact that you’re entering a committed and binding contract with them.

It may seem like a whirlwind of romantic bliss at first, but you don’t want to be surprised by skeletons and ghosts flooding from your partner’s closet.

Honesty and Trust in a Marriage

If your partner hasn’t been completely honest with you, you need to find out! Hiding or lying about important details from previous marriages is the first sign of trust and abandonment issues.

And, if your partner has been married several times, then the likelihood of a successful marriage decreases. When you think that he might be hiding his marriage history from you, then he’s probably trying to hide the reason that those marriages failed.

In order to change or fix those problems, he’ll need to learn to be honest and forthcoming with any personal or psychological problems that he’s facing. Marriage isn’t all glossy daydreams. Love requires work, empathy, compromise, and understanding to really be successful in the long term.

You Need to Know About Past Marriages

A lot of vital information is on a marriage certificate. Dates, names, contact information, address histories, divorce information, and more. He may even have a marriage in his past that hasn’t been completely legally processed as a divorced!

You might need to know if he is telling you the truth. Who knows what you’ll find? The only way to be fully certain is to look up some hard copy, objective information. Don’t just throw your fate to the winds.

Download the marriage certificate documentation you need to investigate the hard evidence, and see if you and your partner are ready to move to the next step and walk down that aisle on equal footing.

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28 Nov
2009
How to Get a Marriage License Online

It may seem strange, but it is possible to get a marriage license online. However, it is important to note that it may only be ordered as a substitute copy. You will still need to have an original registered license in the court system.

A marriage license is a legal identifying document. It is essentially the recognition of a couple’s right to get married.

So, if you’re looking for a copy of a marriage license, this is the information you’ll probably need.

Information Needed for Applying for Your Marriage License Online

In order to get a copy of a marriage license, you’ll need the following information:

•    Applicant’s name

•    Telephone number

•    Order number or file number

•    Date of marriage or issue date of license

Now, this is just a copy, or a transcript, of the marriage certificate. However, it does prove the legitimacy of the marriage.

So this works if you need to prove your marriage’s legitimacy (say, to the IRS), or you’re curious about the legitimacy of a claimed marriage (say, for genealogical research).

General Requirements to Get a Marriage License

Though marriage license laws vary from state to state, if a marriage is legally recognized in one state, all states must recognize the union (according to the Full Faith and Credit Clause of the United States Constitution).

A couple seeking a marriage license must fulfill these requirements:

•    Man and woman are 18 or older, or have consent from parents or a judge

•    Proof of vaccination for certain diseases

•    Divorce or annulment documentation from any previous marriages

•    The capacity to enter into a contract

•    Must not be blood relatives

•    A 1-5 day waiting period (the waiting period can be waived in some circumstances)

•    A ceremony involving witnesses, a judge, minister, priest, or rabbi.

•    Recording of the marriage license

•    Consummation. Though consummation is not always required to recognize a marriage, a lack of consummation is usually sufficient grounds for annulment.

Other Ways to Acquire Marriage License Documentation

If you’re having troubles getting a copy of a marriage license in a certain state, then you might have to contact the county clerk’s office. You can request the documentation in person, by phone, or mail.

However, you should expect a longer wait. These offices are very busy.

If you are looking for a friend or relative’s documentation, then it might just be faster browsing through public records. Check out this site for your public record and marriage license research needs.

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27 Nov
2009
Are You Being Scammed? How Researching Vital Statistics Can Save You!

Vital statistics can be an easy and fast defense against scam artists who are going to use every lie at their disposal to gain your trust and lift your pocketbook.

Long-range scams are pretty common when a person is trying to trick you out of large amounts of resources. In these scams, a person will use every trick in the book to gain your trust so that you (willingly!) hand over personal and financial information.

Identity theft, business take-over, and draining your bank account are just a few of the goals that these tricksters have in mind.

Recent Death of a Loved One

A classic pattern a scam artist might run on a witless victim involves these scenarios:

•    A long lost family member has died. They need your information to give you access to money left to you in a will.

•    The scam artist has been recently widowed. She appears vulnerable in order to gain access to your trust and eventually… your pocketbook.

•    General death, mishap, or abuse in the family. The scammer claims that he needs money somehow to cover death fees, burial costs, escape from hostile people, or money transfers (of which a percentage is usually promised to the mark). This usually involves the “Nigerian Scam” or the “419 Advanced Fee Fraud”.

•    Fencing a stolen car. You may be buying a hot car that “grandma only drove to church on Sundays”. There are several excuses why they might not have proper documentation, titles, etc. If it sounds fishy, get out of the deal and do the research!

Check Up on Birth Documents and See if You are Dating an Illegal Aliens

A person may claim to be a legal citizen, but really they are in a relationship with you or someone you know in order to gain citizenship. By the time you find out their real motivations, it’s too late!

These people marry or have children in order to gain or maintain citizenship. Once they have a child in a country, they are automatically granted that citizenship.

These are called “anchor babies” because having a child, in the US for example, means that they get to stay and raise their child there.

Be very wary of these people, you may be surprised at what they’re willing to do to get what they want.

Identity Theft or Collect the Prize Scams!

So many scams offer promises of riches, fame, easy money, and everything else, that most people just hand over their personal identity without more than a second thought.

Anything that promises to be too good to be true probably is!

Get to their identity before they can get to you! They will take measures to give you a fake identity, and once you realize they’re a fake, send them on their way (to the police, preferably).  Don’t be fooled by liars, cheats, and conmen. Check their vital statistics immediately, before it’s too late!

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26 Nov
2009
4 Dumb Mistakes to Avoid so You Can Find Birth Parents

Approximately 6 million people in the United States are adopted. When you extrapolate that out to biological parents, adoptive parents, and siblings, you have one in eight people effected by adoption. No wonder so many people are trying to find birth parents. Unfortunately, people are making many mistakes in the search. Avoid making these mistakes and finding answers will be a lot easier.

Mistake #1: They Don’t Write it Down
This is a common mistake that rookie private eyes make. When you are searching for your birth parents, you need to think like a private eye. Start by writing everything you know about yourself and your birth place down including the hospital, the agency, and anything else you can think of down. Keep it in an adoption journal for quick reference.

Mistake #2: They Don’t Ask the Family
Whether they are scared or embarrassed, it is a big mistake. Many times adoptive children do not ask the one person who has the most information. The adoptive parents hold all the records. Ask them! They may actually know the name of the biological parents. Don’t forget to write all this information down as well.

In addition, ask other family and friends as well. You never know who may have kept in contact or have that one memory or name that may help. It could be a date or a city. Write it all down because it could be useful later on in your search.

Mistake #3: They Don’t Ask the Agency for Information
As the adoptee, you can petition the adoptive agency for non-identifying information. While it won’t give you a name, it does give you all kinds of fun facts about your biological family. This information can help you narrow down your search later and may tell you if you have biological siblings. It can include:

  • Age of biological parents at time of birth
  • Age and sex of biological sibling at time of birth
  • The ethnicity of your biological parents
  • Possible reasons why they gave you up for adoption
  • Medical History
  • Religion
  • Geographic Location at time of birth

Mistake #4: Don’t Use the Internet to Search Public Records
At this point, many people simply give up. They feel they cannot afford to hire a private detective to search for their birth parents. Therefore, they just give up. They do not even consider trying to do an Internet search for themselves. This is a huge mistake. You can search birth records, adoptive records, and even do a people search from the privacy of your own home all you have to do is look.

When you find your birth parents, it may not be easy but not finding them is even harder. You can start your search today by looking through adoption records.

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25 Nov
2009
Should You Get Hitched or Ditch Him Quick: What You Find Out From Divorce Filings

Divorce filings can be a kind of personal profile of a person when they are under large amounts of stress. Asset acquisition and distribution, alimony, child support payments, custody battles: a divorce can cause some of the greatest stress in the world.

You may need to know exactly what a man is like under great amounts of pressure because it is only then when you know exactly what a person is really made of. Sure, a person may talk a big game, but when it comes down to the nitty-gritty, will they compose themselves with dignity and honor or devolve into a depressed sociopath?

Restraining Orders

Divorce filings will contain a record of any defensive actions a party has had to take. If your partner has had restraining order against him, then there was probably a good reason.

Maybe he was following or stalking a person. Sometimes restraining orders are the only long-term defense against threats of abuse. Invasion of privacy and general harassment are common reasons for this kind of defensive action.

If your man has had a restraining order filed against him, and he hasn’t been completely open and honest with you about how and why, then you might need to do some research to see if you should continue being in this relationship.

Child Custody Battles

Depending on which side of the fence you’re on, you may want a man who stands up to take care of his kids. If you find out that he didn’t really fight for custody, but easily caved in, then that might tell you something about his morals.

Sure, maybe you don’t want kids in your life. Also, it’s very common for custody to go to the mother, no matter how hard a father fights or how inept the mother may be. Still, knowing a man is willing to fight for his kids is important when you’re considering a serious relationship.

After all, if he doesn’t have the will or resources to fight for his children, then maybe he won’t fight for you.

Divisions of Assets

Did he claim that his previous wife was “just a gold digger” that “took him for all he’s worth”, or has he just been making excuses? It is easier to pawn of blame to the other party, sometimes, than to take responsibility for one’s own actions.

You can see how much she really took. Was it fair? That’s always subjective, but you can find out the hard facts of how much money, property, and general assets were divided during the divorce.  Find out whether you should get hitched or ditch him quick when you search for his divorce filings.

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24 Nov
2009
How to Find Your Birth Parents and Be Prepared for the Answers You Get

With an estimated 2% of the U.S population adopted, it is no wonder that so many people are searching for their birth parents. In nationwide surveys, the large majority of these adoptees and the birth parents have at some point in their lives tried to find the parent or child separated by the adoption process.

If you are one of these people searching for someone you lost in the adoption process, there are steps you can take to help you reunite.

Step 1: Begin with the Adoption Information that You Already Have
Write down everything you know about yourself and the adoption. Include when you were born, the hospital, the agency that handled the adoption and anything you can think of that might be useful.

Step 2: Go to Your Adoptive Parents
They may have more information than you may think. Write it all down, no matter how useless you may think it is. This is also the time to approach other relatives, as they may hold clues to your biological parents as well.

Step 3: Petition the Agency for Non-Identifying Information
The non-identifying information will tell you all kinds of stuff about your biological family.

  • It should let you know if they are living or dead.
  • How old they were when you were born.
  • How many other children they had when you were born.
  • The ethnicity of your biological parents
  • Possible reasons why they gave you up for adoption
  • Medical History
  • Religion
  • Possible Geographic Location

Step 4: Begin Gathering Documents
This is the time to start your online search. You can go online and search court records, birth records, adoptive records, and even do people searches. It is fast and easy. You can turn up quite a bit of information in a very short amount of time.

This will be your best shot at actually contacting your biological parents. Once you begin the online search, things start coming together fast. So brace yourself for what happens when you are ready to find birth parents.

Step 5: Register with State and National Agencies
Sometimes, the files are locked up so tight you cannot find information. However, starting in the 1990s, adoption cases became more open as women wanted to become more involved. This is good news for adoptive children as they are easier to located.

In any case, if you are looking and cannot find anything you need to register with state and national reunion registries. One of the best reunion registries to date is the International Soundex Reunion Registry ISRR.

Parents and children register hoping that the other will register and they can be reunited. While it is a long shot, if you register and your parent registers, then can reunite with your birth parents.

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23 Nov
2009
Search for His Marriage History by Finding His Divorce Decree Records

Finding a boyfriend’s divorce decree records could be the fastest way to find out if your boyfriend is lying about previous marriages and relationships. Sometimes, in your gut, you know someone is hiding something from you.

All it takes is a little detective work, and you can find out what you need to know. It could be the best way to protect yourself from potential predators.

Is He Who He Says He Is?

Divorce decrees contain information like names, addresses, finances, properties, children, stocks, affairs, and other vital things about a person’s past.

If you want to really know about his past, how he deals with a crisis, who he’s been involved with, you’ll want to look at this information and decide if he’s who he says he is.

So many people lie about their past relationships that you might not trust their story. Their opinions are likely biased or warped to favor themselves. Nothing is more objective than a legal record of their behavior.

How Many Times Has He Been Married?

Statistically, the more times a person has been married, then the more likely their next marriage will fail.

Is he damaged goods? If he has already been married several times, then there is probably something wrong with the relationships he chooses to be in or the way he behaves in those relationships (or both!).

This is something you’ll need to know before you decide to pursue a long term relationship with him. If a person changes or even becomes dangerous in a marriage, then it is likely to be recorded in their divorce documents.

Public Records are Legal to Access

It is completely and 100% legal to access a person’s divorce files. They are a public record covered and protected under the Freedom of Information Act.

This is information you should know about a person! If they are hiding it from you, then something must have gone wrong. Perhaps they were adulterous, held in contempt of court, didn’t want to pursue custody of their child, or even had a restraining order on them.

Relationships can be difficult at times, so you need to know how your partner is going to behave under the pressure and potential crises that may happen.

If he is the type to completely crumble, or behave dangerously, during a divorce, then it might just give you second thoughts about being in a serious relationship with them.

Find out more about your partner’s previous marriages and divorce decree records and see if his story holds up, or if he’s hiding a dark secret from the past.

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22 Nov
2009
Are You Married to a Cheater? Signs of Infidelity

No one likes to think that their partner is cheating, but sometimes the signs of infidelity are so numerous they are like a slap in the face. On the other hand, you may not know what the signs are and you are wondering, “Is my partner cheating?”

The Cold Hard Facts of Cheating Spouses
Statistically 50% of men who suspect their wives of cheating are correct and 85% of women who suspect their husbands of cheating are correct. This does not mean that men cheat more than women do. It just means that by the time a woman suspects her husband, she is normally right.

When Do People Cheat?
Most affairs occur as they present themselves. They are crimes of opportunity. That is to say people do not go around looking for an affair as much as they sort of fall into an affair. It happens with people they work with, carpool, go on a business trip with and that sort of thing.

Of course, that does not make the affair any easier, and it certainly does not make the one being cheated on feel any better. As a spouse, you have no protection because you just have to hope your husband/wife will not have an affair.

Common Signs of an Affair

  • Objects Appearing in the Home – Sometimes the person will purposely leave an object hoping to be caught. This way the affair will be revealed and the jig will be up.
  • Weird Remarks - Friends and coworkers may drop hints by saying weird remarks to you. Pay attention to the remarks. They just may be giving you hints to the affair.
  • Change of Clothes - Your Spouse coming home in a different set of clothes than he or she went to work in. Many times after an affair, the cheater will shower. Occasionally, they will change clothes as well.
  • New Friends - When someone has an affair, he or she start hanging out with a new person. In turn, he or she hangs out with a new group of people. This means new friends. If your spouse suddenly has a new set of friends, then cheating may be the cause of the sudden popularity.
  • Secret E-mail – When e-mails are deleted and computers are shut off; suspicions should hit a high note. Obviously, something is being hidden. The question is what are they trying to hide and why?

When signs of infidelity are suspected, action needs to be taken. Start taking action now. Check those phone records. Do background checks. See if he has got any secret property out there. You don’t need to hire a private eye. You can be your own private eye and check him out yourself.

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21 Nov
2009
Online Divorce Dockets: Everything You Need to Know to Help You Understand the Divorce Record

If you are trying to find information about a divorce docket online, then here are some things that you will want to know. If you don’t know this already, a divorce docket is a schedule and record of the divorce proceedings as filed by the court system.

A docket is also considered a calendar of events. So, if you suspect that a person intends to file for a divorce, then you might want to check the court’s docket system to see if any complaints or divorce papers have recently gone on file.

A family may try very hard to hide the initial stages of a divorce from the public. But, if large sums of inheritance or other intimate matters are on the line, then it might be best to confirm that a divorce request has been submitted to the courthouse.

Divorce Dockets Online

You can access the upcoming schedule of divorce cases by searching an online divorce docket.

The most private and efficient way to do this is to find a site that specializes in tracking down that divorce record information for you.

It can be much faster than hiring a private eye (who will likely just use an online resource and charge you an unnecessary overhead). It will certainly be much faster than showing up and requesting the information in person.

Docket Terminology

Divorce documents can contain terminology that is confusing for the layperson. If you were not directly involved in the divorce, then you may want to search for sites that outline these terms for you.

That way, it will be easier to digest and understand the information provided by the divorce record. A website that can provide this information for you might also be helpful in tracking down other public records necessary for your research.

You wouldn’t want to raise a fuss about something that you’ve misunderstood. A relationship would go downhill very fast if you accused someone of something that they are actually innocent of!

Maintain Privacy and Discretion

Even though divorce records are public domain, it might be in your best interest if the information is not known by several parties.

Searching online is an excellent way to find the information you want without it passing through several hands. The less eyes on this information, then the better. Divorce documents will contain personal and private information that could be harmful to the parties involved if the information went completely public.

It is likely that you don’t want some frustrated clerk handling these papers. Not only are they very busy (and could take a long time with the papers), but they might become unprofessionally interested in the information that they find!

While looking for more information involving divorce dockets, hearings, proceedings, and public records, check out this online resource for more information on divorce records and divorce dockets for your researching needs.

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